Activity: Checking-In
Remember Ali and Sarah? Help Sarah use Golden Rule #1 Say What You See to check in with Ali.
Hey, sorry I missed your call. So much homework 😫
What’s with you lately? Are you avoiding me?
This might make Ali defensive.
You stuck to the facts and opened up the conversation.
Where To Go
Figuring out where to find help can be hard. If there aren’t appropriate services in your area (or if wait times are too long) then look to online resources or helplines. TBH, sometimes it’s just trial and error of different resources like online therapy, group counselling or different helplines before finding a good fit. The important thing is to not give up.
Here are some good starting points to suggest:
- Make an appointment with your school guidance counsellor, at your campus wellness center or with your GP or family doctor.
- Reach out to a trusted adult family member, friend or elder. Make sure it’s someone who you can be honest with and who respects your full self.
- Call, text or chat online with a helpline or crisis line
- Look up a cultural, a community, or religious group you identify with (you may be able to join virtually, too) or visit a youth drop-in center.
- Find a therapist through psychologytoday.com or sign up for online therapy through betterhelp.com
Therapy and medication are the most common treatments for mental illness, but there are so many other options.
Across generations, we can often see that there are different levels of understanding and acceptance surrounding mental health struggles. There can also be cultural differences in the way that people share their feelings and open up to the topic of mental health.
Everyone’s experience with mental health is different.
In Kim and Yee’s case, they found a peer support worker to be especially helpful when Kim was struggling.
Welcome to the Be There Certificate!
Congrats on taking the first step towards learning to better support your peers and loved ones.
Throughout the course, you’ll learn:
- Warning signs that someone might be struggling with their mental health
- Be There’s 5 Golden Rules – a practical framework to support someone who’s struggling.
- Self-care tips, because your mental health is just as important as anyone else’s!
You'll get to:
- Learn from quick tutorials explaining each Golden Rule
- Take in stories from folks who have been there for their loved ones
- Test your knowledge with interactive quizzes
- Practice applying the Golden Rules to real life scenarios
What to expect:
Once you complete all 6 Lessons, you’ll receive the coveted Be There Certificate! Along the way, you’ll also receive badges and encouragement from fellow learners. It takes about two hours to complete but, don’t worry, if you need a break we’ll automatically save your progress up to the last page you finished.
You’ll get started in just a minute. First, a few quick questions.
“It’s too expensive. I can’t afford it.”
- Research what is covered by their school or employer insurance policies.
- Make a monthly budget with them or share a template they can fill in themselves.
- Research community programs or other free options.
“It’s too far away. There isn’t anything near me.”
- Research options for online therapy or helplines.
- For highschoolers: Ask your guidance counselor what support is available locally.
- For university or college students: Visit the campus wellness center to see what services are available.
“I’m too busy. I don’t have time.”
- Suggest they list out everything they have to do, then help them prioritize what needs to get done and what can wait.
- Help them write out a schedule for the week with time set aside for major commitments and top priorities.
- Ask how you can help get things done
- Encourage them to find a therapist who can be flexible on what time they meet.
“I don’t have a car. I can’t get there.”
- Brainstorm other options for them like getting a bike, taking transit or asking a friend for a ride.
- They can ask their therapist or counsellor if they have virtual or phone options.
“It’s embarrassing. I don’t want anyone to find out.”
- Mental health professionals have confidentiality commitments they must uphold. Do some research or contact a provider to ask them.
- If they’re speaking with a counsellor, they can specify how they’d like to be contacted to maintain privacy.
- Consider calling or texting an anonymous helpline.
“I can’t do online therapy. I don’t have any privacy at home.”
- Consider going for a walk and do therapy over the phone instead of through the internet.
- Explore options to book a private space at school, a friend’s house or even a local community center.
Let’s take a short break and rest our brains for a sec with this fun quiz. It’s mostly just for fun, but the questions might also help you reflect on strengths you already have as well as areas you can work on when it comes to listening. Sound good? (Get it? Sound good? 😉)
Check-in Champ
As the champion of checking-in you pride yourself on making people feel seen. You’re great at noticing when someone isn’t doing well, but keep in mind that champions are made through practice and hard work. To continue honing your listening skills, remember to ask open-ended questions, validate how they’re feeling and don’t interrupt.
Bobble head
During tough conversations you’re great at validating how someone is feeling and not interrupting. Like a bobblehead, you often nod to show that you’re listening. But if your neck needs a break, try offering a hug or a shoulder to cry on. Remember to ask open-ended questions to help them open up and make eye contact to show that you’re paying attention.
Hugger
Bear hugs are your speciality. When a friend needs a hug, they turn to you. To become an even better listener, remember to validate how they’re feeling, ask open-ended questions and make eye contact to show you’re listening. These actions can give people that warm, fuzzy feeling the same way hugs do!
Eye Contact Master
You’re so good at making eye contact, you’ve probably never lost a staring contest! But don’t limit yourself to just one skill, it’s time to diversify. Try asking open-ended questions and nodding to show that you’re listening. Body posture is important too; uncross your arms and relax.
Kim: So my name is Kim, and this my dad
Yee: My name is Yee
Kim: I think it's been a very long journey for him. So for a lot of it was quite challenging, especially when I initially got diagnosed with bipolar and especially going through hospitalizations, it might have been upwards of seven or eight times that I've been in. And so I think every time took a really big emotional toll on him
Yee: It was really a struggle, like quite a roller coaster, especially going to the early stages of being introduced to mental illness, like, I was sort of caught off guard, and was kinda like a learning process going to the institutions, doctors and their support network
Kim: There was a lot of great support, especially when I was in the appropriate clinic. And we had peer support, he really, I think, really resonated with the peer support worker, and was able to connect with her. And through that, I think it's been a lot better.
Yee: Most of the support were really, through institution. And I remember, I think there was like a peer support worker, we had family meetings, and she sort of talked us through her personal experience, how she got through it, and you know, just took a lot of patience, which, you know, is difficult when you're dealing with it, you know, your own daughter, right? How long is this gonna take? That was like, a six month process, and then it gradually gradually got better. Having gone through it, I feel much stronger. I think the key is really like communication.
Kim: I don't tell him enough how much I'm proud of him for going through this and how much I love him too.
Yee: It’s an Asian thing. We don't do that enough. You know, like, we don't go, Oh, I love you.
Kim: I think it's very much an Asian immigrant thing that we aren't outwardly very emotional. And I think that's probably what led to a lot of my struggles with not being able to be as emotionally expressive. Probably at some of my peers, I think definitely took a toll.
Yee: One generation ago, like, I guess, we have family. We're like my age and men back then, how they dealt with mental health was nowhere close to what we have right now. It was seemed to be taboo back then. No one wanted to talk about it. They wanted to hide it. Right. And that's not the way to deal with it. I mean, just be open to support wherever you can find it, whether it be from a peer a fellow student, your family.
Kim: I know it was a very much a big challenge for him, but it's definitely been a big growing process, growing pain a little bit, doing it together.
Yee: Play the cards, you're dealt right and try to deal with it the best you can. It's very stressful. But bottom line is, we've always had each other's backs right through thick and thin.
According to Be There, how should you create a safe environment for someone struggling with their mental health?
A classmate is feeling so anxious about an upcoming exam that they’re nauseous and have barely eaten all week. This change is…
Ali joined the science club
Fill in the blanks:
Optional Videos
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Please go back and complete the previous lesson.