Activity: Checking-In
Remember Ali and Sarah? Help Sarah use Golden Rule #1 Say What You See to check in with Ali.
Hey, sorry I missed your call. So much homework 😫
What’s with you lately? Are you avoiding me?
This might make Ali defensive.
You stuck to the facts and opened up the conversation.
Three Things to Remember
Supporting someone struggling with their mental health is often a long journey. Progress may come slowly and put you through many ups and downs. Self-care becomes even more important when supporting someone long-term. Self care is not a treat. It is not self-indulgent, it’s an important part of staying healthy that everyone needs to make time for. Here are three things to remember to help you maintain your mental health.
1. Check in with yourself.
Check in with yourself from time to time to see how you’re feeling, and think about what makes you happy.
Ask yourself:
- What are signs (thoughts, feelings, behaviours) of poor mental health for me?
- What are a few things I like to do that recharge my batteries?
- Who can I talk to if I’m struggling?
Your answers to these questions can change over time, so remember to check in with yourself regularly. If changes in your thoughts, feelings or behaviours become intense, long-lasting, and are having a big impact on your life, these are signs of a mental health problem. Show yourself some love and reach out for help.
2. Show yourself some love.
Make time to do the things that make you happy. It’s important to figure out what we need and how to make time for it. For example:
- Relax: Read a book, listen to music, stargaze, watch a movie, take a nap.
- Pamper yourself: Run a hot bath or shower, paint your nails, sleep in.
- Laugh: at anything.
- Be active: Walk, skate, bike, board, play sports, get outside.
- Hang out: with friends, family, a pet, neighbours, teammates.
- Get creative: sketch, write poetry, paint, play music.
- Get your hands dirty: cook, bake, garden, clean.
- Reflect: Meditate, journal, spiritual or cultural practices.
Life is busy so sometimes self care is all about quality over quantity. If you’re having trouble fitting in self care, make a point of eating well, sleeping well and savouring a bath or shower. To get a good night’s sleep try to stick to a regular schedule, make your room a sleep haven (blinds, fan, whatever you need), stop staring at screens before winding down and instead create a relaxing bedtime routine like reading or meditating. Oh, and avoid having a big meal, caffeine or nicotine a few hours before bed!
3. Reach out for Help
If you notice that you’re really struggling with your mental health – if your struggles become intense, long-lasting, and are having a big impact on your life – reach out for help.
Even just talking to someone can help. Remember, no problem is too small! You could reach out to a friend or family member, a trusted teacher, coach, elder or maybe you’d rather talk to a professional (your GP, a social worker on campus, workplace mental health supports, etc.) or someone anonymously through free hotlines like Kids Help Phone (which is for ages 5-29).. The main thing is that you’re not alone; there is help out there.
Hesitant to reach out? There are many reasons why that may be, but one major barrier that people face is self-stigma.
Self-stigmatizing can happen when people who are struggling with their mental health begin to believe the negative stereotypes that exist surrounding mental health. This can leave you feeling shameful, embarrassed, guilty and that your feelings are invalid.
Pay attention to your inner dialogue and challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself. Think, would I say the same thing to my best friend if they were struggling?
Like we said, remember that you're not alone. Millions of people around the world struggle with mental health issues. Sharing your experiences with friends you can trust or support groups can help reduce those feelings of being alone and self-stigma.
Finally, know that It’s not your fault. Mental health struggles or illnesses can result from a combination of genetic, environmental, and biological factors. Blaming yourself only reinforces that self-stigma.
Welcome to the Be There Certificate!
Congrats on taking the first step towards learning to better support your peers and loved ones.
Throughout the course, you’ll learn:
- Warning signs that someone might be struggling with their mental health
- Be There’s 5 Golden Rules – a practical framework to support someone who’s struggling.
- Self-care tips, because your mental health is just as important as anyone else’s!
You'll get to:
- Learn from quick tutorials explaining each Golden Rule
- Take in stories from folks who have been there for their loved ones
- Test your knowledge with interactive quizzes
- Practice applying the Golden Rules to real life scenarios
What to expect:
Once you complete all 6 Lessons, you’ll receive the coveted Be There Certificate! Along the way, you’ll also receive badges and encouragement from fellow learners. It takes about two hours to complete but, don’t worry, if you need a break we’ll automatically save your progress up to the last page you finished.
You’ll get started in just a minute. First, a few quick questions.
“It’s too expensive. I can’t afford it.”
- Research what is covered by their school or employer insurance policies.
- Make a monthly budget with them or share a template they can fill in themselves.
- Research community programs or other free options.
“It’s too far away. There isn’t anything near me.”
- Research options for online therapy or helplines.
- For highschoolers: Ask your guidance counselor what support is available locally.
- For university or college students: Visit the campus wellness center to see what services are available.
“I’m too busy. I don’t have time.”
- Suggest they list out everything they have to do, then help them prioritize what needs to get done and what can wait.
- Help them write out a schedule for the week with time set aside for major commitments and top priorities.
- Ask how you can help get things done
- Encourage them to find a therapist who can be flexible on what time they meet.
“I don’t have a car. I can’t get there.”
- Brainstorm other options for them like getting a bike, taking transit or asking a friend for a ride.
- They can ask their therapist or counsellor if they have virtual or phone options.
“It’s embarrassing. I don’t want anyone to find out.”
- Mental health professionals have confidentiality commitments they must uphold. Do some research or contact a provider to ask them.
- If they’re speaking with a counsellor, they can specify how they’d like to be contacted to maintain privacy.
- Consider calling or texting an anonymous helpline.
“I can’t do online therapy. I don’t have any privacy at home.”
- Consider going for a walk and do therapy over the phone instead of through the internet.
- Explore options to book a private space at school, a friend’s house or even a local community center.
Let’s take a short break and rest our brains for a sec with this fun quiz. It’s mostly just for fun, but the questions might also help you reflect on strengths you already have as well as areas you can work on when it comes to listening. Sound good? (Get it? Sound good? 😉)
Check-in Champ
As the champion of checking-in you pride yourself on making people feel seen. You’re great at noticing when someone isn’t doing well, but keep in mind that champions are made through practice and hard work. To continue honing your listening skills, remember to ask open-ended questions, validate how they’re feeling and don’t interrupt.
Bobble head
During tough conversations you’re great at validating how someone is feeling and not interrupting. Like a bobblehead, you often nod to show that you’re listening. But if your neck needs a break, try offering a hug or a shoulder to cry on. Remember to ask open-ended questions to help them open up and make eye contact to show that you’re paying attention.
Hugger
Bear hugs are your speciality. When a friend needs a hug, they turn to you. To become an even better listener, remember to validate how they’re feeling, ask open-ended questions and make eye contact to show you’re listening. These actions can give people that warm, fuzzy feeling the same way hugs do!
Eye Contact Master
You’re so good at making eye contact, you’ve probably never lost a staring contest! But don’t limit yourself to just one skill, it’s time to diversify. Try asking open-ended questions and nodding to show that you’re listening. Body posture is important too; uncross your arms and relax.
According to Be There, how should you create a safe environment for someone struggling with their mental health?
A classmate is feeling so anxious about an upcoming exam that they’re nauseous and have barely eaten all week. This change is…
Ali joined the science club
Fill in the blanks:
Optional Videos
You don't have access to this part of the course yet!
Please go back and complete the previous lesson.